IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

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IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by khaos4ng31 on 2012-03-11, 01:41

So, I'm searching throughout this forum and I (hopefully) did not see a thread made JUST for the forum users with any mental disorders.

So I am now proposing an open thread to where forum users can openly discuss their problems or any disorders that they might have. I'm sorry for repeating the word "disorder", but it seems to me that using euphemisms seems to create a counter-effect. (Unless there are other effective ways of talking about this, in which case please tell me).

Now, I understand that some of you might not have any disorders, but we all have days where we feel down or undergo a deep thought or change. You can discuss and talk about them here if you would like.

I do however feel that though this may be an open discussion, there has to be some limits (or guidelines) on HOW open this should be, but I think that we are all mature enough to understand and sympathize with each other. In other words, please don't troll, and please do not flame. Some of us are very sensitive, even though this is the Internet. Humor is allowed, but please keep in mind the affected parties.

Note that some of us are on medications, and that you SHOULD NOT advise anybody to stop their doses. I had a friend who stopped too early on his anti-depressants, and the lack of the right amount chemicals put him in the hospital after a suicide attempt where he eventually died.

Speaking of suicide, please do not advise someone to commit suicide or post instructions on how to go about this on this thread. Discussion of methods (if allowed) can be discussed somewhere else on the forum. Such discussion will not be tolerated.

Final note (and yes, FINAL):
Keep in mind that this is a thread to help others GAIN INSIGHT and to HELP EACH OTHER in general. I don't want to be a stickler, and I want to keep the thread as open as possible so that we may see things in a different light. Also, keep in mind that most of us are not psychologists or therapists or psychiatrists, unless you actually are one.

P.S. If there is a thread like mine already, the mods are free to remove this. You're also free to edit this if you like, but please try to keep the bulk of it, or maybe my main points. Also, there is a wall of text after this. You don't have to read it, skimming it is fine. I tend to type a lot.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Putting it into a code box to save space, it's a lot of typing]
Code:
I'll start I guess. My therapists and psychiatrists say that I have schizoaffective disorder. I'm not entirely sure what it is EXACTLY but I have some of the kinks down.

I was born in '90 and as far as I can recall I began to act strangely around my last year of middle school (8th grade I think). I always felt isolated and far away from people, although my friends were close by. I had a few relationships, but only one of them felt real to me, and that was the first one. She actually left without a word thinking that it would be easier for both of us, but it had the opposite effect. She moved to a faraway state. I thought I felt fine, so I just carried on with life, dating other girls along the way, but the feeling was never there so I broke it off with them. The hole left behind the first girl never healed. During this time I also noticed that I would get auditory hallucinations that would scare the pants off of me since I would turn around and nothing was there. I always heard a sound similar to muffled speech. My closest description would be like they were someone who called my name, but it was so muffled and I could barely hear it. Actually it wasn't muffled, it sounded blurred like how movies have some dream scenes where everything sounds dreamy. Hard to describe actually. It always came out like a woooOOOOHHH sound. I noticed that right before sleeping it was more common.
Over time, I came along 4chan (the earliest I came along was before it had Captchas and such) and browsed mainly /a/ and /b/. I started to turn to anime to try and fill the gap left by my first love. I kept telling myself that this hole I felt was due to my hormones and that I was too young for this. As I got older, I began to have a Facebook account and soon added her. Turns out, she moved on fairly quickly. My young self was shattered. To think that I had believed in something that turned out to be fake. Well, little did I know, it wasn't fake. I genuinely loved her (from her blue eyes, her soft voice, her compassion for all things cute and anime), but I thought it best to let her live her own life (she's probably the cause of me liking anime, without her, I never would have been hooked to it).

Skip to the now, where I started to isolate myself for the sake of others and started to go to therapy because I was advised by one of my closest friends as I started to see how she suffered from being around me too long. Honest to god, I love her because she's always been there for me when I was sad. I knew she had an affection for me in the past (don't know if its still their at the same level or if its pity now), and it pains me to see her not be able to be with me. I can feel her slipping away at times. I feel like a burden to her. I'm kind of hard to be around for long periods of time (like a month). I tend to lose my temper fairly fast, but this is probably due to a frustration with myself and it is manageable.

I have more friends now (still not a lot, it's maybe around 20 people, probably less that consider ME as a friend to them), and I go to work normally now. I still have crazy mood swings that last for weeks a swing (if that makes sense). I took therapy for a while, and have been taking small doses of anti-psychotics for a long time. I am CONSIDERABLY better than I was before. I am thankful, otherwise college would have been a crappier experience for me (I mean it still is. I'm still stuck in my dorm sometimes due to my social fear of... well social stuff).


Sorry for typing so much. A lot has happened to me and I did a lot to try and overcome it. One of it was writing stories. I'm currently writing a story in which I have writer's block, so if you guys want to see it, I'll gladly post it.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Worthington on 2012-03-11, 02:40

Probably mentioned elsewhere, but I have paranoid schizophrenia and OCD. Not going to talk too much about it, since I'm really shit with that sort of thing.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Hamadyne on 2012-03-11, 04:33

Well, I might as well give this a shot.

High-Functioning Autism isn't as clear cut as books and movies make it out to be. It can be a mishmash of varying social awkwardnesses, from not knowing how to hold a conversation to being completely obnoxious in one, or both. You can be granted with a better than average intelligence, but express it in completely alien ways.

For me, my life has been a roller coaster of ups and downs thanks to AS. Having learned to read at age 2 and having a 4th grade vocabulary at age 6, my parents knew I would be a gifted child. Well, they were sort of right. While I was indeed gifted, I was brought down by my general inability to properly behave in school, as well as my lack of any friends. My elementary and middle school years were not the best, looking back at things. Despite all of that, I've turned our pretty well. Therapy and support were probably my two biggest pillars in keeping me standing tall.

Code:
A quick rundown of my various quirks:

Negatives:
-Shut down when exposed to loud noises (sudden or prolonged)
-Unable to look at people's eyes directly
-Unable to handle hot objects
-Refuse to eat cereal with milk (texture irregularity - food textures or flavors do not match well in my mouth)
-Refuse to eat pancakes with syrup (texture irregularity)
-Risk of overstimulation in large social environments (parties, urban areas, new locations)
-Gets frustrated over small issues, perfectionist in nature
-Tends to take things (figures of speech, idioms, sarcasm) said literally.
-Prone to self-isolation

Positives:
-Reading rate clocked at about 1000 WPM, 85% comprehension
-Near photographic memory
-Impeccable knowledge of trivia
-Able to refine skills as much as I want. Applies to several of my Negatives.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Waytfm on 2012-03-11, 05:39

@Hamadyne: I myself have never been diagnosed with any sort of mental illness, so I can't say a lot. I did find your aversion to different textures in foods interesting. I act the same way most of the time. I guess the example that comes to mind first is that I refuse to eat a hamburger or any sort of sandwich with lettuce on it. I also typically have to finish one type of food before I move on to something else. Everybody who notices just thinks its weird, so it's interesting to see someone else with that same quirk. I can't speak for anything else though.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by MDV on 2012-03-11, 06:33

I wonder what your policy on telling people IRL about your disabilty is. Do you tell everyone right away? Do you try to keep it a secret? Do you tell others only when asked about it?

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Dorigard on 2012-03-11, 07:33

When I was young I was diagnosed with ADD (or ADHD-PI as it's known now). Wow, I've been typing up different ways to begin this explication for half an hour now, and I just can't decide how to start this, so I guess I'll just go with coded bullet points:

Code:
-My parents chose to take this information and get me to realize while I was normal, I wasn't the same as other kids.
-I was especially hyperactive and selfish in an exploratory way (If I wanted a toy, I would have it) as a young child.
-Despite instance for medication from doctors, I went untreated until late in Middles School and though Early High School. I never really believed that the medication could do me any good, so I think through a Mind-over-Matter sort of way it never really did.
-It wasn't until High School that I started picking up any coping mechanisms for living with ADHD. Until this point I was usually told I could use my ADHD as an excuse for how I behaved, or told I could use it to get out of particularly boring or offensive moments through school.

I've always been awful at simply talking about myself, even writing this I've having quite a bit of difficulty, I've always been better at answering specifics about myself, so this is as much as I can think to write despite that I have more to say.

MDV wrote:I wonder what your policy on telling people IRL about your disabilty is. Do you tell everyone right away? Do you try to keep it a secret? Do you tell others only when asked about it?

I usually avoid telling most people about my ADHD, I've always felt that because it seems such a prevalent diagnosis nowadays, that people don't believe it means all that much. Also, I always like people to know me as just a regular person like them, not to have the idea that there is anything specifically abnormal about me.

But at the same time, because I've lived so long with the idea that my ADHD does make me different, I sometimes abruptly tell relative strangers or very intimate friends about it. It seems that while I typically dislike telling people, I have almost no discretion when it comes to telling people. Some time I tell people as a casual drop in for a story of my past experiences, sometimes I still use it as an excuse for my actions.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Hamadyne on 2012-03-11, 14:20

MDV wrote:I wonder what your policy on telling people IRL about your disabilty is. Do you tell everyone right away? Do you try to keep it a secret? Do you tell others only when asked about it?

If I 'm comfortable with talking to people, then I usually tell them. It's usually a few weeks after getting to know them. If it's vital that I have to tell them, usually for medical history or for explaining an odd quirk, then I tell others in order to properly explain.
Most people are surprised by that, saying they had no idea I had AS; apparently I'm a lot more higher-functioning than most. This is to the extent that I've actually had to remind people I have AS, especially with some of my snarky friends who use sarcasm in every other sentence.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Malkav on 2012-03-11, 15:34

Hmmm... sure, I'll bite.

At the time of my evaluation (age 19), I was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Severe Depression with Psychotic Episodes, and Primary Group Dissociation. As a quick rundown...

PTSD: Certain things cause me to suddenly zone out or temporarily obsess over a very specific event or aspect of an event in my life, leaving me in a semi-responsive, hazy mental state.

SD-PE: Mostly self-explanatory. In times of extreme duress, I hallucinate or act in a completely bizarre fashion.

PGD: Usually, I feel pretty disconnected from my family, friends, and loved ones. I'm aware only superficially that we are emotionally close; thus, I understand this as if I was an outsider observing this fact, and do not often actually feel these connections to people I'm sure I would otherwise feel very strongly for.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Gloom on 2012-03-11, 16:48

I have ADHD, which according to some around here counts as a disorder.

I feel so terribly, boringly sane compared to the lot of you now.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Waytfm on 2012-03-11, 17:02

Gloom wrote:I have ADHD, which according to some around here counts as a disorder.

I feel so terribly, boringly sane compared to the lot of you now.

I know that feel bro.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by MDV on 2012-03-11, 17:14

I don't want to insult you guys, but those two post strongly remind me of the people in my old school claming to be normal. Those poor folks were lying to themselves even harder than to anyone else. But if you guys never got any treatment or your ADHD never caused you any problems, then perhaps you really are normal Smile.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by khaos4ng31 on 2012-03-11, 17:43

MDV wrote:I wonder what your policy on telling people IRL about your disabilty is. Do you tell everyone right away? Do you try to keep it a secret? Do you tell others only when asked about it?

Online, I can spill everything since I can't be targeted and singled out as easily.

IRL, the topic hardly comes up. People just brush me off as annoying or irritable. It's fine with me. Saves me a lot of trouble. I actually had very few people to talk to about this, but nowadays it's just the professional help. So all in all very people know of my personality disorder. It doesn't help that I tend to isolate myself for the sake of others.

And I only tell a person who's really close about it when they ask, which they almost never do and it's easier to keep it a secret. I tend to distrust a lot of people and what with all the stigmas and everything I figured it would be best to keep a low profile.

@Malkav, feeling disconnected is something that we share. I usually behave on the belief of how OTHERS think I should act rather than acting on how I think I should act. Saves me trouble, in my opinion.

@Hamadayne, in the college I go to, there are a couple of high functioning autistic students and I had a conversation with one of them one day. It's interesting.


Last edited by khaos4ng31 on 2012-03-11, 18:22; edited 1 time in total

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My mood matters not when my mind is mangled by Mister Monster.
Nothing can save me from this malevolent monster that mixes my life with madness.
This massive monstrosity mirrors an exact match of mischief and magnified melancholy.
This monster manifests me.
And I am the angel that comes from the middle, only to unwillingly spread khaos, as destiny has determined.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Waytfm on 2012-03-11, 18:02

MDV wrote:I don't want to insult you guys, but those two post strongly remind me of the people in my old school claming to be normal. Those poor folks were lying to themselves even harder than to anyone else. But if you guys never got any treatment or your ADHD never caused you any problems, then perhaps you really are normal Smile.

I don't have ADHD. I never been diagnosed with anything actually.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Malkav on 2012-03-11, 18:47

khaos4ng31 wrote:@Malkav, feeling disconnected is something that we share. I usually behave on the belief of how OTHERS think I should act rather than acting on how I think I should act. Saves me trouble, in my opinion.

Heheheh; that would be very useful. Unfortunately, I'm pretty terrible at figuring that part out Wink

Gloom wrote:I feel so terribly, boringly sane compared to the lot of you now.
Waytfm wrote:I know that feel bro.

Well, I think it's pretty cool that there are some normal people out there. Razz After a while of me running into crazy after crazy after crazy, I'd begun to wonder if the whole world had simply gone mad. The prospect of an entire planet being populated by rational-sentients-gone-insane isn't exactly a very cheery one!
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by DutchSanta on 2012-03-11, 20:22

When I was in 5th grade, me and people around me noticed that I was constantly shaking my head. My mom thought I was just mimicking the video games I was playing and tried to ease me off of them, but it didn't stop. Eventually, I went in for some tests and I was found to have a relatively mild case of Tourette's Syndrome. I was made fun of a lot for the rest of the year over it, but I eventually learned to cope with it. The tics have subsided, but sometimes when I get tense, I still feel shades of it come back.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by analane on 2012-03-11, 21:02

Hello, all.
I don't really want to sound like I'm one of those "lol self diagnosed AS, I'm actually just socially awkward" people, but I might as well tell my story, and I'm getting formally tested as soon as possible.

I think I have Asperger's Syndrome for many reasons. You can basically match my past up with Hamadyne's- I learned to read at the age of 2, was doing 2nd grade workbooks in preschool, and ended up actually skipping 2nd grade altogether after the teacher said she didn't know what to do with me. I knew all the material already, so I started acting out, and she couldn't handle me, so I moved up. Now, at the tender age of 14, I'm only a sophomore in high school. This skip screwed my life up so bad for quite a few years.

But I digress. After extensive talking with Hamadyne as well as consulting with my father and perusing numerous symptom lists online, I can safely say that I have at LEAST minor AS. My dad has it as well (I looked it up and apparently it CAN run in the family). We both get VERY specific obsessions that we've pursued for years. For my dad, as an example, it's The Shining. I don't understand sarcasm or irony, and have the worst time trying to decipher nonverbal cues and facial expressions. I can't tell whether someone is angry at me or not, or whether they're upset or perfectly fine. I'm also a huge perfectionist. Part of this stems from me not getting that it takes a while to learn things sometimes, but part of it I just can't explain. If I don't get something the first time, I can't handle it.

I'm hesitant to bring up my social anxiety and how drained I get from being in a social setting, mostly because when I normally bring those up, people skip straight to assuming I'm just looking for an excuse for my social ineptitude, but I'm not. It's been this way for a very long time. I have maybe 4 or 5 very close friends, 3 of which I've made only due to shared interests and not from just approaching them and talking. The other two- well, I can't really explain how I got to know them, but I did.

Lastly, I'm super geared towards stability and ritual, meaning that I HATE change. I worry over stupid things all the time, and I just can't help it. I can't handle the fact that maybe my mom wants to get a job in addition to being a homemaker. I can't handle that my sister no longer wants to go to the school she wanted to for a very long time. Even on the weekends, it's hard for me to deal with those times when I've figured out my plans for the day and my mom will say that we're going out. I just don't work that way.

I really hope that whoever reads this doesn't assume I'm just socially inept and trying to make excuses for it.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Brasse on 2012-03-11, 22:00

Waytfm wrote:
MDV wrote:I don't want to insult you guys, but those two post strongly remind me of the people in my old school claming to be normal. Those poor folks were lying to themselves even harder than to anyone else. But if you guys never got any treatment or your ADHD never caused you any problems, then perhaps you really are normal Smile.

I don't have ADHD. I never been diagnosed with anything actually.

Ditto. Although tests taken online and in psychology class do tend to give results leaning slightly towards Schizoid Personality Disorder. Though, I don't believe that actually suffer from it - the questions are usually asked in such a way that they can be interpreted in a variety of different ways and the reasons for giving a particular answer is not necessarily indicate a disorder. For instance, while it is correct that I do not care much for socializing, it is because it usually involves meaningless small-talk and social gestures which make no sense and which I don't want to be bothered with. However, I do enjoy social situations when something meaningful and concrete is discussed. I can identify with the emotional detachment and insouciance, but those are somewhat of an ideal I've been trying to pursue in the form of the Stoic doctrine of Apatheia. Admittedly, some of it comes quite naturally - I often find myself unmoved by suffering of others, especially if I don't know them, but I suppose that's just a personality quirk.


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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Dorigard on 2012-03-11, 23:59

MDV wrote:I don't want to insult you guys, but those two post strongly remind me of the people in my old school claming to be normal. Those poor folks were lying to themselves even harder than to anyone else. But if you guys never got any treatment or your ADHD never caused you any problems, then perhaps you really are normal Smile.

I suppose it all really comes down to if/when it's diagnosed, and if/what anything is done about it.

Personally, I was diagnosed young, and always had the idea of being different with ADHD hung over me, so it became part of who I am, it made me different, and so I had to learn how to make myself as normal as I could be.

On the other end of the spectrum, people who may have ADHD but are never diagnosed, and so nothing is ever done about it, can live perfectly normal, happy lives without ever being aware. They may feel a bit different at times, but it's normal to be different from the guy next to you. Perhaps it can just be written off as being a spontaneous person with poor focus.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by imperial.standard on 2012-03-12, 00:10

Dorigard wrote:
On the other end of the spectrum, people who may have ADHD but are never diagnosed, and so nothing is ever done about it, can live perfectly normal, happy lives without ever being aware.

This is because normally ADHD people will develop a coping mechanism to deal with their poor focus. By adulthood normally ADHD person will not be immediately apparently so - but pressure them enough to fail their own coping mechanism - you can then witness their poor focus manifest fully and their problem-solving ability going out of the window. It LOOKED like your kind of standard breakdown, except that it is not.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Dorigard on 2012-03-12, 00:36

imperial.standard wrote:
Dorigard wrote:
On the other end of the spectrum, people who may have ADHD but are never diagnosed, and so nothing is ever done about it, can live perfectly normal, happy lives without ever being aware.

This is because normally ADHD people will develop a coping mechanism to deal with their poor focus. By adulthood normally ADHD person will not be immediately apparently so - but pressure them enough to fail their own coping mechanism - you can then witness their poor focus manifest fully and their problem-solving ability going out of the window. It LOOKED like your kind of standard breakdown, except that it is not.

Hmm, so would you say it's better to live your whole life with diagnosed ADHD and have that knowledge to develop strong coping mechanisms yet also have that feeling of being different. Or would it be better to never know and live your life relatively normally, except with a chance of complete breakdown of your poorer coping tactics?
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by imperial.standard on 2012-03-12, 00:54

[quote="Dorigard"][quote="imperial.standard"]
Dorigard wrote:
Hmm, so would you say it's better to live your whole life with diagnosed ADHD and have that knowledge to develop strong coping mechanisms yet also have that feeling of being different. Or would it be better to never know and live your life relatively normally, except with a chance of complete breakdown of your poorer coping tactics?

This is no preference - it really depends on the said person. Knowing yourself better is ALWAYS great so you know how to work out your maximum potential, but it quickly becomes BS if this is being used as an excuse of not performing/hiding behind known weaknesses as an excuse of not doing things properly.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Merlyn_LeRoy on 2012-03-12, 01:14

Not having any mental disorders (that I know about, at least), I joined this project after offering a few ideas in the thread about Mentaru Shoujo in the Katawa Shoujo forums. Being a doctor's son and a fan of Dr. Oliver Sacks (Awakenings, The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat, etc), I've always found these sorts of disorders very interesting.

Also, being a computer programmer, I'm familiar with the Turing test, which is a sort of computer intelligence test. If a person has a long, complex conversation via text and can't tell if they're communicating with a person or a computer program, the program has passed the Turing test.

The Turing test seems to relate here, because the same rules of that test to make the test "fair" for a computer also apply to many symptoms of human mental disorders; you can't tell how long it took someone to write a sentence, or if writing it triggered facial tics, or if it was emotionally difficult to write, etc. Text messages remove tone of voice, body language, and so forth, which can actually help in communicating with someone who has difficulty discerning such cues in person, since both ends of the conversation have these cues removed.

Even these things --> Smile Crying or Very sad tongue <-- apply. Emoticons were originally created to indicate that a statement should not be taken seriously, after flame wars erupted by people missing sarcasm and other types of humor in the early days of the net -- a sort of artificial autism.

As is pretty obvious in this thread, a lot of disorders are very hard to spot using this medium of communication. I can't really tell anything different about e.g. Worthington's or Hamadyne's posts compared to other people. That's one of the most interesting things I've noticed since starting on this project.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Dorigard on 2012-03-12, 01:17

imperial.standard wrote:
Dorigard wrote:
Hmm, so would you say it's better to live your whole life with diagnosed ADHD and have that knowledge to develop strong coping mechanisms yet also have that feeling of being different. Or would it be better to never know and live your life relatively normally, except with a chance of complete breakdown of your poorer coping tactics?

This is no preference - it really depends on the said person. Knowing yourself better is ALWAYS great so you know how to work out your maximum potential, but it quickly becomes BS if this is being used as an excuse of not performing/hiding behind known weaknesses as an excuse of not doing things properly.

While not exactly the answer I was looking for, it is an insightful answer.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by imperial.standard on 2012-03-12, 01:22

Sorry I can't give you a better answer Dorigard. This is the truth however - you will have to see how this ADHD is giving you in your life and how to deal with with. In my personal experience, the short focus is always a problem but when something caught my attention, the euphoric high feeling that comes with that focus is extremely good. Suddenly the energy to do something becomes really boundless and the usually "lethargic & lazy" me suddenly becomes impatient and full of energy/initiative.

I don't know if this is a sufficient explanation but I hope you get my gist?

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Dorigard on 2012-03-12, 01:30

imperial.standard wrote:Sorry I can't give you a better answer Dorigard. This is the truth however - you will have to see how this ADHD is giving you in your life and how to deal with with. In my personal experience, the short focus is always a problem but when something caught my attention, the euphoric high feeling that comes with that focus is extremely good. Suddenly the energy to do something becomes really boundless and the usually "lethargic & lazy" me suddenly becomes impatient and full of energy/initiative.

I don't know if this is a sufficient explanation but I hope you get my gist?

Like I've said, I live with ADHD, I understand exactly what you mean. For me it's not exactly a euphoric high, it's more "It feels good to be able to concentrate on this, to get this thing done. I hope it lasts longer than last time."
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by imperial.standard on 2012-03-12, 01:46

Dorigard wrote:
Like I've said, I live with ADHD, I understand exactly what you mean. For me it's not exactly a euphoric high, it's more "It feels good to be able to concentrate on this, to get this thing done. I hope it lasts longer than last time."

Yes I also get this most of the time. When that high/good feeling exhausts itself out the rest of the activity become so dragging. This is why to assist my real life activities I draft people to remind me to do things and I actively distract myself in order to be able to get into the unfinished tasks with energy Smile

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Genero6 on 2012-03-12, 03:22

I feel like I spend way too much time discussing my own issues here. I normally avoid them and am less serious and more casual, but I have a rather limited capacity for social activity and it's mostly taken up elsewhere, so you lot just get the boring leftovers. This also means I'm even less likely to respond to others here, but I promise I'm listening, at least. Always interesting to learn more about you all.

Another one with Aspergers here. Similar negatives as Hamadyne, only I missed out on any positives, so I'll skip over the common symptoms. Instead, life story time: While I showed obvious signs of it when I was very young and ended up seeing a variety of psychiatrists and therapists, they only diagnosed me as manic–depressive, and essentially decided to not do anything - psychiatry was not strong in Australia back then. Everyone in my family suffers from depression, so dealing with that was inevitable. As a result, my school years were a complete mess. I was considered either a genius or a retard by most, and eventually dropped out. I followed the family to another country, the Netherlands (not far from MDV actually), but I'm terrible at learning languages so I still barely understand Dutch, leaving me with even less social contact. I did end up seeing therapists who were aware of Aspergers, and was quickly diagnosed. By now though, I have a cripplingly low self-esteem, to the point of not being comfortable in the same room as somebody else out of fear I'll bring them down in some way. This tends to overshadow the Aspergers a bit, but I have similar problems as others - can't face a person directly, can't follow their line of thinking, can't handle large social environments, and even talking one-on-one leaves me tired.

Do I tell people about my condition? I don't find it worth bringing up, but then it's been years since I've had proper interaction with anybody who wasn't involved with support and knew my condition beforehand, so it's not really an issue. I'd really rather not get into it with strangers, but I've had strangers assume I'm on drugs before, so I guess it depends on how I think they'll respond to me.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by VacuityMechanica on 2012-03-12, 06:50

I have IED.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by TheLastMelody on 2012-03-12, 09:31

Big chunk of text incoming
Code:
I was diagnosed with AS and ADHD-PI also known as ADD. I don't believe that the psychiatrist whom diagnosed me was entirely right, sure I do have many symptoms of ADHD-PI, but I think I have other symptoms too.

I got meds from an age of 9, I think, I was way stronger than other kids my age at that time. I also had a very fiery temper, I had to go to anger control therapy (wich did not help at all). Less than a year after I started taking meds, I started feeling that they did not help at all, I told my mom and the psychiatrist that I did not want to take more, both refused my suggestion of stopping to take meds, therefore I pretended to be taking meds, but I ended up spitting them out the window while no one else was looking. They found out and gave up trying to give me meds. After I went to some different places, met new people. One day when I was visiting a friend, he had made a shield of planks and firewood, he gave me a big log and asked me to hit the shield as hard as I could(to see if his shield was strong enough to withstand it). I took the log, and hit the shield with all my power, I shattered some of the bones in his arm. After that episode I started thinking about how my actions affected people, how my rage affected others in the vicinity, how my presence made others uncomfortable and I figured out that I would start controlling my temper and avoid interacting with others as much as possible. That lead to the me today, a depressing little thing, doing little else than wathing anime, reading manga, eating, sleeping, going to the sh**er, reading books, listening to music, reading VN's, playing RPG's(mostly the J ones) and talking to my other selves.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by khaos4ng31 on 2012-03-12, 17:40

VacuityMechanica wrote:I have IED.

One of my professor's friend also has severe IED. He took the life of this one guy. I didn't hear much about it though.


I'm kind of glad to see where the thread is going. Turned out a lot better than I thought. Not that surprised that it ended up that a lot of people with some form of autism are replying.

@Wren, some medications take a long time to have even a little effect. I know this well because I once stopped taking my anti-depressants when I thought it didn't work. Turns out the sudden drop of chemicals in my brain caused me to feel even worse. I have scars on my arms not because I cut myself not due to depression but because I was just plain curious as to what would happen (pretty stupid of me) and I think something to do with a small delusion I had thinking that someone switched my body.

Back then I would have been ashamed to talk about it. Now I feel awkward telling about it, but I no longer feel shame. So what if I injured myself. I felt no pain and it makes me stronger (but a little more crazy I suppose) than others. Doesn't help my already current belief that everyone is in someway inferior to me. bounce

So tl;dr, try to take all your meds properly, even if you don't think they're working.

~~~~~
I'm actually interested in hearing these stories so if anybody has any stories of other people managing their mental disabilities, feel free to post them (if you have consent that is).

If you [forum posters] don't feel comfortable making the subject you or a friend, you can always use the SWIM [someone who isn't me] acronym to replace it. That way we can never truly know who it is you are talking about.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by MDV on 2012-03-12, 17:46

So tl;dr, try to take all your meds properly, even if you don't think they're working.
I'm sorry for not playing the game by the rules you named in the OP, but I can't say I agree 100% on this one. I never used medicine against my mental problems, and I got over practically all of them. Some of my friends actually got better when they stopped taking their pills. It's not a black-or-white thing. Using medication isn't always good, not using medication isn't always bad.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by khaos4ng31 on 2012-03-12, 18:02

MDV wrote:
So tl;dr, try to take all your meds properly, even if you don't think they're working.
I'm sorry for not playing the game by the rules you named in the OP, but I can't say I agree 100% on this one. I never used medicine against my mental problems, and I got over practically all of them. Some of my friends actually got better when they stopped taking their pills. It's not a black-or-white thing. Using medication isn't always good, not using medication isn't always bad.

This is a discussion, so basically anything goes. Nothing wrong with expressing your opinion.

I was talking from an anti-depressant viewpoint from what I learned from experience.

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This monster manifests me.
And I am the angel that comes from the middle, only to unwillingly spread khaos, as destiny has determined.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Dorigard on 2012-03-12, 23:19

MDV wrote:
So tl;dr, try to take all your meds properly, even if you don't think they're working.
I'm sorry for not playing the game by the rules you named in the OP, but I can't say I agree 100% on this one. I never used medicine against my mental problems, and I got over practically all of them. Some of my friends actually got better when they stopped taking their pills. It's not a black-or-white thing. Using medication isn't always good, not using medication isn't always bad.

I agree with you, if only from personal experience. Despite my flippant mentality, I've always liked the idea of the placebo affect, that a useless medication can have great medicinal properties if you believe it does. Because of this, I also believed the opposite was true. So despite always being told the daily pills I took were to help me, I never believed they actually did and so, they didn't. It was through multiple 'traumatizing' or 'enlightening' events (all of which were in someway caused by my ADHD (like the complete lack of forethought)) during my late Middle School and early High School years, that I learned forms of self control, self moderation, how to deal with ADHD. And halting my medication was the last step I in solidifying the new me and my new found control.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by VacuityMechanica on 2012-03-12, 23:40

khaos4ng31 wrote:One of my professor's friend also has severe IED. He took the life of this one guy. I didn't hear much about it though.
I've never gone that far, luckily. Strangled a kid (I was also a kid) because he wouldn't move once, but never killed someone yet.

khaos4ng31 wrote:So tl;dr, try to take all your meds properly, even if you don't think they're working.
Not on meds, anyway.


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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by splitInfinitive on 2012-03-13, 07:14

Dissociative identity, PTSD, mild OCD, dyslexia, eating disorder NOS, narcolepsy. I'd elaborate but I'm getting hit with a sleeping spell as we speak ;P
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Malkav on 2012-03-13, 18:15

This thread really has become something pretty cool. So far, I've liked reading through everyone's particular "recipe of madness", and even more enjoyed how it seems to have affected their lives. On that note, I now feel a bit guilty about not going into more detail about my history, though I can always remedy that, if anyone is curious.

Genero, TheLastMelody, Hamadyne, analane: Even though I don't have Autism (to my knowledge, anyway), I really identify with your stories. Back at a young age, I was extremely intelligent, yet also had a really hard time communicating. I used to be extraordinarily shy and anxious when meeting face-to-face with strangers, and in public, I felt uneasy, at best. I'm a little better now, but... well, I just wanted to say that I think I understand a little of what you guys go through.

Also, on the subject of medication... the body is one of the strangest machines I've ever had the pleasure of working with. Sometimes it runs perfectly smoothly. Sometimes it fails. Failure can be temporary rather than permanent. It can be minor or major, progressive or regressive. Every case is slightly different, I think, in its own way. In mine, the solution wasn't medication: it was time and calm solitude. I had to waste a year of hoping that the pills would work in order to figure that out. Solutions aren't easy to find, and they're rarely catch-all panaceas. But they're there, and for every case that exists, there is also at least one solution to remedy it. As long as the emphasis is on solving the problem, and not making a solution work, I don't think you can really go wrong.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by ShotgunNinja on 2012-03-13, 23:29

Asperger's here, anyone who has been on the public IRC knows the extent of that.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by ILY on 2012-03-13, 23:41

I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I can't shake the feeling that I probably should be.
Now I feel left out pale

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Dorigard on 2012-03-13, 23:48

ILY wrote:I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I can't shake the feeling that I probably should be.
Now I feel left out pale

No need to feel left out, as an ADHD-PI, I'm not exactly unique here either. And look at it this way, by being "normal" you're something we can compare ourselves against.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Zarich on 2012-03-14, 00:12

Dorigard wrote:
ILY wrote:I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I can't shake the feeling that I probably should be.
Now I feel left out pale

No need to feel left out, as an ADHD-PI, I'm not exactly unique here either. And look at it this way, by being "normal" you're something we can compare ourselves against.

Which leads us to this philosophical question of, what is "normal". For me, I am one of the users that hasn't been diagnosed with anything, I'm far from "normal", don't compare yourself to me. Xd

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Dorigard on 2012-03-14, 00:15

Zarich wrote:
Dorigard wrote:
ILY wrote:I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I can't shake the feeling that I probably should be.
Now I feel left out pale

No need to feel left out, as an ADHD-PI, I'm not exactly unique here either. And look at it this way, by being "normal" you're something we can compare ourselves against.

Which leads us to this philosophical question of, what is "normal". For me, I am one of the users that hasn't been diagnosed with anything, I'm far from "normal", don't compare yourself to me. Xd

Now that the gauntlet has been thrown down the game is afoot! Quick what is your height in imperial measurement? Your Middle initial? Times you pet a dog that didn't belong to you?
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Zarich on 2012-03-14, 00:53

Dorigard wrote:
Zarich wrote:
Dorigard wrote:
ILY wrote:I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I can't shake the feeling that I probably should be.
Now I feel left out pale

No need to feel left out, as an ADHD-PI, I'm not exactly unique here either. And look at it this way, by being "normal" you're something we can compare ourselves against.

Which leads us to this philosophical question of, what is "normal". For me, I am one of the users that hasn't been diagnosed with anything, I'm far from "normal", don't compare yourself to me. Xd

Now that the gauntlet has been thrown down the game is afoot! Quick what is your height in imperial measurement? Your Middle initial? Times you pet a dog that didn't belong to you?

5'9", H, I'm allergic. Right back at ya> Xp. (my god this is offtopic)

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Dorigard on 2012-03-14, 01:10

Zarich wrote:
Dorigard wrote:
Zarich wrote:
Dorigard wrote:
ILY wrote:I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I can't shake the feeling that I probably should be.
Now I feel left out pale

No need to feel left out, as an ADHD-PI, I'm not exactly unique here either. And look at it this way, by being "normal" you're something we can compare ourselves against.

Which leads us to this philosophical question of, what is "normal". For me, I am one of the users that hasn't been diagnosed with anything, I'm far from "normal", don't compare yourself to me. Xd

Now that the gauntlet has been thrown down the game is afoot! Quick what is your height in imperial measurement? Your Middle initial? Times you pet a dog that didn't belong to you?

5'9", H, I'm allergic. Right back at ya> Xp. (my god this is offtopic)
I see, I see, there is quite a bit different between us. 6'00, E, at least two dozen. (Yeah, like way off topic, but I proved a point... I think)
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Zarich on 2012-03-14, 01:14

Dorigard wrote:
Zarich wrote:
Dorigard wrote:
Zarich wrote:
Dorigard wrote:
ILY wrote:I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I can't shake the feeling that I probably should be.
Now I feel left out pale

No need to feel left out, as an ADHD-PI, I'm not exactly unique here either. And look at it this way, by being "normal" you're something we can compare ourselves against.

Which leads us to this philosophical question of, what is "normal". For me, I am one of the users that hasn't been diagnosed with anything, I'm far from "normal", don't compare yourself to me. Xd

Now that the gauntlet has been thrown down the game is afoot! Quick what is your height in imperial measurement? Your Middle initial? Times you pet a dog that didn't belong to you?

5'9", H, I'm allergic. Right back at ya> Xp. (my god this is offtopic)
I see, I see, there is quite a bit different between us. 6'00, E, at least two dozen. (Yeah, like way off topic, but I proved a point... I think)

Alright, Mr. Literal. I would revise my sentence but I'm guessing you are the type of person to go at it again. Xp. I throw in the towel, good sir

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by TheLastMelody on 2012-03-14, 10:48

ILY wrote:I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I can't shake the feeling that I probably should be.
Now I feel left out pale
As someone said earlier, no reason to feel left out. You should not need to feel left out, there is really nothing good about a "specialist" labelling you as "small-crazy", only because you think outside that goddamn "box" of theirs.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by SemiPolish on 2012-03-14, 18:44

I don't have a very debilitating disorder, per se, but it bugs me to no end when I contemplate its effects in retrospect. The thing is, I have an acute inferiority complex that causes me to constantly compare myself to other and get myself worked up if somebody performs even marginally better than myself. I use others as a measuring stick, ignoring my own good side and focus on my faults. As a result, I can be rather testy at any given moment, and it's hard to maintain a steady relationship with somebody who is either greatly "better" than me or who is not willing to let me explain my issue to them. I always end up kicking myself when I insult somebody to make myself feel better, but I've been improving with the help of my core group of really awesome friends and some assistance from a psychiatrist on the side.

Obviously my minor affliction pales in comparison to the ailments that some of you guys have, but I thought I'd put it out there simply to avoid seeming phony whenever I may choose to throw in my two cents.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by splitInfinitive on 2012-03-14, 22:29

I have to say, the best thing about dissociative identity is always having someone to talk to. The best part about narcolepsy is I have an excuse to drink too much caffeine Very Happy I'd say dissociative identity means never feeling alone, but that's not true. It's really hard to date when you have DI, because different parts of you want different things in a partner. I kind of have to be openly polyamorous or else it doesn't work. And it gets reaaaaally complicated when a system has child or teenager alters. So I wouldn't be surprised if MS skips over dissociative identity, unless they did a character with a very simple system (single-digit number of alters, all above the age of consent). Those kinds of systems are rare, though.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by HeDanny on 2012-03-15, 17:17

I suffer from Schizophrenia. I'll go with "generalised" as I've never been told it is any particular type. I get all the hallucinations. It is considered well managed now. It has taken me some really damaging places in the past.

Now I'd prefer to consider myself just someone with a severe anxiety disorder. My situation is enough that "the state" as it were considers me an individual requiring permanent care. Fortunately my parents can do that. Lucky, eh!

As for telling people, well, I've posted here. That's as close as I'll ever need to get to telling anyone. I'm a shut in, so the internet is my people. Brofist, internet!

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by bradpara on 2012-03-22, 02:55

PPD-NOS over here.

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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

Post by Arivien on 2012-03-22, 19:48

Not sure if this is a disorder, but I tend to overthink things like crazy.

Even small mistakes become huge ones, as I blow them way out of proportion.
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Re: IRL Mental Disorders/Problems That YOU Have

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